emo pregnancy

we're getting so close to baby time!

we've had some unexpected complications come up, which hasn't been fun, but for now junior is a healthy and happy camper parked right where he's at, and for that we are grateful. we're also so glad for midwives and OBs who are incredibly nice and answer my 20 questions at every appointment and make us feel cared for and safe. we're so blessed to have such easy access to the care we need!

right now my biggest complaint is answering the same questions over. and over. and over. and over. again.

i joked with my mom the other day that i was going to make this tee shirt:

which of course is an exaggeration. i don't mean to sound ungrateful that people are interested in our little guy. i just answer a lot of the same questions every day, and we don't have a name 100% picked out, and we're still figuring out what we'll do with the store, and isn't a due date silly, because he'll come when he comes?!

i've had unexpected sadness about my pregnancy ending. i'm so used to hearing women complain near the end of their pregnancies that i assumed i would be dying to be done as well, but instead i just feel sad. i love having our baby close to me. i love that it's my voice and my heartbeat that he hears all the time. i love that i get to provide him with everything he needs to survive. i know once i have him he will still be with me the majority of the time, and i'll still be the one providing him with the things he needs, but it's just not the same. i don't know. i feel a little bit blue about how fast this flew by and surprised by how much i've loved it, even though it's odd to be this large and sometimes uncomfortable. i also feel weird about my time with just david and i being over! it's been four years now of just the two of us and i've loved it so much.

that's normal, right? i hope it doesn't seem like i'm mopey and depressed and irritable all the time, because i'm totally not. i've been having a lot of fun goofing off with david and visiting with friends and enjoying rexburg's sometimes rainy/windy, sometimes sunny spring. our apartment is looking cuter and more ready for junior every day and life is so, so sweet right now. i sometimes think my heart might explode with how much i already love our little junior. i feel insanely lucky to get to be momma to this sweet little guy that i haven't even met or held in my arms yet. david and i constantly marvel at the fact that, no matter what happens with this last week or two or delivery, we've already got a son. he's ours forever. that's pretty nuts.

mostly, i guess this whole blog post is saying that i'm overly emotional right now!

my only food cravings have manifested themselves in the last 2 months of my pregnancy:

brown rice (i eat so much brown rice), lemon san pellegrino, & cheese sticks.

also, enjoy life (a gluten, dairy, nut, soy free food company) makes snickerdoodles that david and i are kind of obsessed with. they are SO good!