nighttime

Tonight I put Joony to bed after a long struggle (on his part) to stay awake.  The exhausted guy just wouldn't give in and go to sleep.  He finally drifted off, though, and David went out to the garage to work while I sat down to write a blog post and watch an episode of something on hulu.  Around 10:30, though, I heard a shriek from the other room and went running in--of course, he was awake.  My initial reaction was frustration.

I picked him up and he curled up against my chest.  His fist clutched my sweatshirt, his baby head fit right under my chin, he sighed, and drifted back off to sleep.  I figured that would be the time to set him back down and get back to my blog and my show.  That's when I saw my Mom's rocking chair sitting in the corner of the room--the same one she rocked me and my brothers in when we were babies.

I'm so glad I decided to sit down in that rocking chair and soak it all in--the smell of shampoo on my blond boy's head, the moonlight shining through the window, his soft snores, the chubby feet tucked into footie pajamas.  I know someday he will be all acne and attitude and will want nothing to do with me, and that breaks my heart. I know that when that day comes, there will be shows to watch on hulu and blog posts to write, but there will not be a sweet, clingy, little baby to cuddle.  I love this time in our lives.  I never anticipated loving motherhood this much, I really didn't.

I'm glad I have this blog, so I can sit down at 1:45 am (he's awake again, by the way, playing with David) and type an exhausted post to remind future me that being Joony's mom really is the sweetest thing.